Kepadamu Yang Tengah Patah Hatinya

Kepadamu yang tengah patah hatinya. Biar kali ini luka-luka itu memelukmu hingga remuk. Biar sepuasnya. Sebab tak sepadan juangmu dibanding caranya menenggelamkan. Biarkan hanyut sesaat. Biar, biar saja.

Kau bertanya padaku seolah sedemikian tahu aku menengahi luka. Demi tuhan dahulu aku juga kehilangan cara. Rasa pengap sesak dalam rongga dadamu hari ini sudah pula pernah membunuhku perlahan beberapa waktu dahulu. Tapi pada kenyataannya, aku sama sekali tidak apa-apa. Baik-baik saja. Begitupun kau.

Aku hafal persis bagaimana rasanya
Tahu persis sedemikian sakitnya..

Tapi pada akhirnya, tidak ada yang lebih tahu selain kau. Tidak ada yang lebih tahu pedihmu selain kau, tak ada yang lebih tahu bahagiamu selain kau.

Kepadamu yang tengah patah hatinya, berbahagialah. Sebab tak ada yang lain yang jatuh selain hati, tak ada yang lain yang patah selain hati. Kita dijatuhcintakan sekali, lalu dipatahkan sekali. Hingga nanti dijatuhcinta lagi pada yang tak akan mematahkan untuk kedua kali. Belajarlah dengannya, hingga kau tahu bahagiamu semanis apa. Sebab, besok jika tulisan ini kembali kau baca, kau akan percaya bahwa kau pada nyatanya baik-baik saja.


Depok, 2017

Dear Me (Long Ago)

Dear Me (Long Ago)

Three years ago, a very good friend of mine told me that shits happened today would be heal. Time heals she said. Three years to completely realize that she was right. I know she was. Cause in life shit will always happen.
It used to bother me in every single breath. But now feels like nothing left but I am completely happy that I be the woman I became today. And hope you too..

It sounds crazy sometimes that life goes in a float but you are drowning. When something is not right but you keep pretending it is. When you have no one to trust but act like you got one. When you completely lost your sanity but insist that was fine.

I won't say that this story is the worst, there must be a silver lining that you can catch to learn your lesson and I've learned mine. Again, hopefully you too.

There will be the day when you finally woke up and everything goes around you doesn't bother you anymore. Because that's just how it works and all the sudden you can see where you're goin'. You know to whom should you put your faith. That you learn a lot along the way.

For me maybe took three years just to realize that very simple point. And for you, don't take it too long. You deserve something better.

With love,
Me (Now)

Hello!

As you walk, the universe is walking with you..
It's maybe not too much to ask to let you achieve what you've chased or to be somewhere where you've searched, cause you drown yourself to gain it and I knew it.
And as you walk, me (who is not your whole universe but pretty happy to be part of it) will walk along with you and truly happy that I make my self do.

Depok, 2018